Polls are showing that the Liberal Party may lose up to six of their blue-ribbon seats to the ‘teal independents’ this election, as some of their safest electorates revolt against what they believe to be a corrupt and financially reckless Morrison government.

As the talent continues to thin out at the top of the Coalition government due to allegations of sex crimes and sudden resignations, it seems that the next generation of promising Liberals are also at risk of working in the private sector in a few months time.

Dave Sharma MP, Trent Zimmerman MP, Tim Wilson MP, and even treasurer Josh Frydenberg are all sitting ducks to be taken out by independent female candidates who want to focus on the environment and local issues.

The Nationals are also on the ropes, with North NSW MP Kevin Hogan MP and Central West MP Andrew Gee MP set to experience their first actual election challenge – as they feel the wrath of post-pandemic yuppie tree-changers.

This comes as Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing begins cutting his losses in the blue ribbon seats, in an effort to appeal to a possibly fictional base of hyper-religious suburban voters who think trans athletes are the number one election issue.

While the Murdoch media and the Liberal Party machine begin redirecting money away from marginal Labor seats to once-safe Liberal seats, it is becoming evidently clear that ‘teal is real’.

With millions of dollars in funding behind them from small donors and from climate-anxious billionaires, the Independent campaigns are making many in the Liberal Party nervous, with polls pointing to a humiliating identity crisis.

On top of this, Scotty does not seem to be doing much to address this very real possibility of losing all of the Liberal Party’s moderate brains, as he visited a Central Coast BCF store over the weekend to pledge $20m in pork barrelling for more camping and fishing facilities – or as he described it in an official government press release ‘fishos and boaties’.

Instead, Morrison has handballed this job to the old guard, and wheeled out former PM John Howard and a couple of retired Liberal Premiers to reign in the treasonous conservatives who might be toying with the idea of voting Independent.

The number one message being relayed to the urban Liberal base is that by voting for ‘anti-Liberal groupies’ like Zali Steggall and Allegra Spender, Australians are robbing some of our nation’s most promising young Oxford-educated men from a fruitful career on the back bench of Federal Parliament.

However, voters in the affluent coastal seats of Melbourne and Sydney say that having a local member without a portfolio is humiliating – and they would rather a crossbencher to a backbencher.


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