ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“You fucking savages!”


Late last night local time, popular internet activist Julian Assange was arrested as he left the Ecuadorian embassy in London, the most overrated city on Earth, for the first time since the equatorial nation provided him with asylum some seven years ago.

His protections were removed this year amid problems around his behaviour inside the diplomatic apartment and the fact the Ecuadorians wanted their room back.

Leaving the embassy in handcuffs, Assange was visibly agitated and uncooperative.

Mainly, he told the world’s media, because of his concerns over the fate of his favourite artifacts from his spiritual home in North Queensland.

“Those fucking bastards threw out all my Origin tapes!” he yelled from the Scotland Yard van.

“Noooooo! My Crocs singlet! Don’t throw that out! Mail to to my Mum! Fuuuuuuuck!”

“Let go if me, you boot-licking fascist! Don’t throw that out! That’s a lock of Warren Entsch’s dick hair! God please, no!”

The Advocate reached out to WikiLeaks for comment on the matter but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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