ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the largest aircraft to ever take flight completed it’s first test yesterday in California’s Mojave Desert, heralding a new era for aviation.

The six-engine aircraft, named Stratolaunch, is a gigantic double-fuselage jet designed to take spacecraft to the edge of Earth’s atmosphere, where they’re launched off into the cosmos.

It’s also the first aircraft capable of lifting the bullshit of political hopeful, Clive Palmer.

Mr Palmer, a Victorian blow-in to our fine state, and all of his inherent bullshit is said to weigh in excess of two-hundred metric tonnes.

While the Stratolaunch isn’t the first aircraft to be able to carry that much bullshit, it is the first to fly that has the space to carry it.

Speaking to The Advocate today about Clive Palmer and what a malignant force he is on the political discourse in this country, Gabriel Turner of Stratolaunch Systems said that aircraft such as the Soviet-built AN225, capable of lifting almost 250 tonnes, were too small to carry Clive and his lies, but the Stratolaunch is different.

“The compact and dense nature of bullshit you get from other politicians is able to fit inside traditional cargo aircraft like the AN225 or a 747-8,” he said.

“But the oozing stream of human faeces that dribbles from Clive Palmer’s mouth every time he speaks is only able to be transported by the Stratolaunch. In the past, once you bag it all up after a press conference, the only way to get it out was by truck,”

“The Stratolaunch offers another solution to that problem.”

The Advocate reached out to Mr Palmer for comment but his minders say he’s already in his hammock, knocked off the for the day.

More to come.


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