A recent report by the Australian Coastal Communities Alliances for Decent Architecture of Car parks, Clubs and Artisan bakeries (ACCADACCA) has found that tourism is struggling in beach towns due to local blokes hogging the waterfront.

Research has shown that a vast majority of the beachside car parks are taken up by middle aged men wearing wrap-around sunnies just having a look at whats going on.

“These men are fully clothed. Every time” said lead researcher, Professor Bell Terrigal.

“We can’t identify if they are there to check the swell or have a perve, or meditating”

The study also found that sometimes these blokes will get out of their car to have a better look, but never take off their wrap-around Oakleys.

“Sometimes they’ll be smoking a durry” said Terrigal.

“In which case they’ll usually crack the car door open and put one foot out”

However, what the report failed to explain was why none of these blokes ever put on the radio or have a coffee while they sit there looking, two traits most commonly associated with having a look.

“Sometimes they’ll smash an iced coffee or an energy drink, but even that is quite rare.”

“However, they’ll often open their boot to move stuff around, before maybe clearing a bit of rubbish out of their car door and putting in the bin”

Our reporters reached out to a spokesman for the nations average local blokes, but he was too busy having a corona while leaning on his car outside his house while talking to a bloke from work on the phone.


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