LOUIS BURKE Culture | CONTACT

After hearing the news on an iPad he for some reason owns, usually apathetic grandpa John Virgona (82) has pipped up after he’s learnt an Australian cricketer has “been playin’ silly buggers again.”

Although he is rumoured to have once told his wife of 55 years that he loves her, Virgona is usually a quiet and reserved man who saves all his passion for whenever a notable Australian athlete “goes on like a bloody porkchop.”

Recently, Virgona’s friends and family have been treated to Pop’s rare opinion on something following Australian international cricketer David Warner’s walk-off during a game of grade cricket.

“You’re joking aren’t ya? Whadyou do there, he’s a kettle shy off boiling point that one!” stated Virgona, pointing a finger to the roof of his Flight Path District fibro home.

“Does my head in. It. Does. My. Head. In.”

While the incident took place a week ago, it is believed Virgona is still giving his two cents about it, meaning Virgona’s family finally have a chance to have a conversation with him as long as it’s about a grade cricket walk-off done by a player currently serving an international ban due to cheating.

“You should have seen him after the ball tampering,” stated Virgona’s granddaughter Claudia.

“He was not his quiet self, he was calling for them to be deported and have their bats turned into children’s play equipment.”

According to Claudia, it was former captain Steve Smith’s tearful apology that forced her Pop back into his apathetic shell after he was reminded men are capable of feeling and expressing emotions other than anger.

“If he gets too much I’ll load that up on YouTube and failing that I’ll put on Flame Trees and talk about Ned Kelly’s green sash.”

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