CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The country has let out a collective sigh of exasperation this evening, as it prepares for the boxing match that was apparently supposed to capture the imagination of a nation.
As a few people around the country prepare for ‘The River Side Rumble,’ the bout will see Anthony ‘The Man’ Mundine and Jeff ‘The Hornet’ Horn go head to head in what promises to be a lengthy and potentially extremely boring pillow fight.
Despite ‘Choc’ Mundine’s best efforts to hype the whole thing up, the majority of the country is grimacing at what looms to go the whole way.
The nation has confirmed today that the whole fight and everything about it’s incredibly sad.
“This fight is depressing man,” said a spokesperson for the nation down at Betoota’s Lord Kidman Hotel.
“He’s too old to be getting punched in the head for money. I mean, it’s not like The Hornet will really be doing much damage, but, the premise is still the same.”
“And if that didn’t depress people enough, Jeff Horn’s attempts at trash talk were fucked. “I wanna shut his mouth up.” He’s a fucking school teacher for fuck sake, he should be able to structure a sentence properly.”
The spokesperson explained that no one was holding out any hope of a spectacular knock out or a bit of a bloody spectacle.
“No one’s knocking anyone out. This is gonna go all the way and end in a decision that a couple of people might argue about it. Jesus, I hope they don’t do a rematch,” the spokesperson said.
“But yeah, this is sad.”