After almost two months since the final whistle blew of the 2019 NRL season, things have gone quiet.

Almost too quiet.

That’s according to the long-suffering NRL executives and club boards.

Given it is actually the off-season, so footballers aren’t playing football at the moment – and therefore not making headlines for their actual sporting achievements. It is still suspiciously quiet.

In fact, aside from two all-in brawls at the same Balinese nightclub. There’s been nothing.

Latrell Mitchell is back at home in Taree helping fight fires, so even he’s not giving the media that much to work with – as they fight tooth and nail to create speculation around his NRL future.

However, NRL CEO Todd Greenberg isn’t ready to write off anything just yet.

For him, the silence sounds more like a restlessness. And after last year’s schizophrenic off-season from hell, he knows that this kind of inactivity can only lead to an explosion of testosterone, saddie bags and vodka sunrises.

Sitting in his burgundy-scented Moore Park office, a terrified Greenberg doesn’t make one movement.

He can already feel what is coming towards him. Silly Season is well underway. The power has cut out in his office. He’s sitting in complete darkness.

The metaphorical T-Rex of social media sex-tapes, pub fights and cocaine abuse can be heard through roars and grunts as it get closer.

But right now, only Toddly can sense how big this off-season is going to be, as his plastic cup of water shakes as it draws near his crisis management team.

“Maybe it’s the power trying to come back on” he ambitiously whispers to himself as he stands up.


A goat’s leg thuds agains his glass window, frightening him back into his chair.

It’s here.

“The NRL Off-Season always finds a way” he whimpers.


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