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In some news that will not shock cricket fans, the English Cricket Board and their team are carrying on again.

Facing the daunting prospect of getting whitewashed in the blistering Australian sun, the powers of English cricket are pretending like they are up in arms about the conditions they’ll be subjected to.

Currently, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has shockingly held firm on refusing to grant the players extra special treatment, something which has come to be expected by cashed-up sports stars.

While England’s cricket team can enter Australia under a special exemption, at this stage, their partners or families are not allowed to join them.

British Prime Minister Boris ‘The Calculated Goofball’ Johnson has reportedly told Morrison that the whole tour could collapse if the players aren’t allowed to just stroll in from their spicy cough-infested country, as the pair discuss super important matters.

“It’s got nothing to do with the fact that we’ve been completely and utterly rolled every time we head over in the last decade,” Boris reportedly said.

“The boys who often don’t bring their partners over during normal times, are very particular about them there this time for some reason,” said the British PM.

“Forcing them to spend a couple of weeks in a luxury hotel is simply inhumane.”

“Just like getting clean swept in front of millions of eyeballs again because our team crumbles in the heat.”

It’s not known how long Morrison will be able to hold out for, with a strong likelihood that more special treatment will be headed the way of some professional athletes quite soon.

Rumours are also swirling that the English will do everything they can to get offside with the likes of Annastacia Palaszczuk and Mark McGowan.

More to come.

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