Former first-grade prop Sean Evans (29) has today decided that his knee is better.

After having to sit at home and see Facebook photos of his old team mates on the piss after three weeks of trial matches for The Betoota Dolphins, Sean has skipped the final few appointments with his knee doctor – and announced ‘she’ll be right’.

However, a lot has changed in the world since Sean sustained this injury two years ago during a match against the Birdsville Brahmans.

Namely, the invention of popular video game Fortnite, and his newfound love of UberEats.

While having a cast or brace on ones leg has been historically associated with horrific boredom and sickly weight loss, Sean actually didn’t mind the chance the remain sedentary for 18 months.

Where he allowed his body to transform with each mouthful of glorious pad thai. As his girlfriend remarked, Seano’s uninterrupted two years of pure hedonism has left him looking fatter than a Broncos home crowd.

But now, as the novelty begins to worn off, Sean’s ready to risk permanent damage to his long-suffering knee, and put the boots back.

Heading down to Friday night training last night and expecting to get a start in the ones tomorrow, Sean is well aware of how much husk has frayed up around this coconut.

“Jesus Sean” said his bewildered coach, Rocco.

“Did you scoff a doonah over Christmas? Get on the line you portly gent. W’ere doing suicides”


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