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Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today done his part to make sure there is no bad blood between himself and departing Liberal MP Julia Banks.
After spending the afternoon tossing up what would be the best way to say he’s sorry, Morrison decided to drive down to one of those big department stores his missus is always banging on about and pick up a fair dinkum ironing board.
It is believed the remaining female MPs in the Liberal Party attempted to gently advise the Prime Minister against the idea, but were met with cat noises.
“Haha. Reow” said Morrison, while imitating a cat with his hands.
“Hiss hiss [hahaha]”
The Prime Minister’s comments were met with laughter from nearby male colleagues and staffers who also thought these women were being ridiculous and catty.
“Don’t be so mean girls.” said the Prime Minister.
“I know she’s completely fucked us. But I do think it’s worth reminding her that we’ve taken in what she said and we are sorry.”
Morrison then sarcastically but kind of seriously waved a finger at his female colleagues and told them there would be serious repercussions if he heard of anyone else planning a gender revolt in his party.
“Arghhh. You lot better not be next” he said in comedic tone but also with very obvious frustration and overly aggressive hand movements.
“I’m doing this so she doesn’t make it a thing. Don’t want the sisterhood to turn on us [hahaha]”
“It’s just so… arghhh.. [haha]”
“Oh well. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em [hahaha]
It is not yet known if Julia Banks has received the gift yet or if Julie Bishop was able to intercept it and throw it in the bin, as she had vowed to do if the Prime Minister went ahead with his plan.
It is believed that while checking the ironing board through the Parliament House security scanners, even some of the AFP staff asked Scott Morrison if he was sure this was a good idea, or if it was more of a Jerusalem idea.