Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has today had to issued a safety warning to all residents attempting to jump on the Brisbane Lions bandwagon currently hurtling through the Smart State at full tilt.

This comes after reports of number of disenfranchised Brisbane Broncos and Queensland Reds fans ruining their moleskin trousers and UNIT boardies attempting to get in on the action.

The Brisbane Lions currently sit on top of the AFL ladder after a thrilling one-point win over Geelong, while Port Adelaide and Adelaide’s seasons are all but fucked after they were smashed by North Melbourne and Collingwood respectively.

Over the last few weeks, tens of thousands of dormant Queensland-based AFL fans are re-emerged from the long grass they descended into after the early 2000s three-peat.

However, as is the case with all rushed gatherings of record-breaking crowds, the newfound supporter base has resulted in some light sprains and torn hammies.

“I tried to jump on the band wagon as it was gunning Vulture street on the weekend” says one local Queenslander, Campbell Beattie (31, Hutchinson Builders).

“It was pretty bloody crowded, and moving very fast. I got thrown back into the German Club and tore the arse out of me moleskins”

However, with a couple more laps of the city needed until the big dance, it is expected that the band wagon will be able to eventually pick up anyone who’s willing to wear a scarf.

Players from the Victorian franchises have revealed how refreshing it is to play in front of a full stadium of fans that don’t boo Aboriginal footballers.


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