WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today shared some more revelations about the magic sky men who he says control our world – revealing that the devil was hard at work over the weekend.
“What those 17 men from the Canterbury Bankstown region of Sydney did to the mighty Sharks on the weekend, was the work of the devil,” explained the PM about Cronulla’s 24-18 loss to the Dogs of War.
“The Doggos winning that after how they played in the last 10 minutes is the cleareast sign that that the devil walks amongst us, and we need to do everything we can to fight back against him everyday.”
His comments follow video emerging of him elling the Australian Christian Churches conference that he was called upon to do the lord’s work – and claiming that social media is the work of the devil.
The man who seemingly forgets his Christian values on things like offshore detention and sexual assault in his workplace also revealed that God sent him a sign during the 2019 election campaign.
“And, now, a couple of years after my miracle win, he can send me another sign by getting the Sharks over the line against the Melbourne Storm this weekend,” laughed the PM.
God and the Devil were both unavailable for official comment on the Prime Minister’s claims today.
Editor-at-large Errol Parker’s tea had a cockroach in it this morning, which we are currently seeking clarity as to whether that was a response from either of the aforementioned supernatural figures.
More to come.