CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local Sydney-based NRL club doctor, Wayde Lee, has today made a decision that could potentially effect the rest of his career.
After close to a decade at university studying medicine and specialising in high impact sports, Wayde as gone and jeopardised his future employment opportunities by actively deciding to not hand out Benzodiazepines and short-acting tranquillisers at the drop of the hat.
As is commonly acknowledged in Australian rugby league, the club doctor’s role is to mostly identify injuries in ageing players that could see them medically retired and paid the rest of their contract outside of salary cap.
Prior to the game’s introduction of an independent Head Injury Assessment, they were also expected to minimise the concern around concussions within the playing group, through not diagnosing them.
However, more recently the NRL club doctor has gradually transformed into a club fixer of sorts – tasked with indiscriminately prescribing valium and xanax to anyone causing trouble for their employers.
In some cases, liquid valium has allegedly been injected into players Pulp Fiction-style, in an effort to bring a destructive bender to an end.
This week, serious accusations were made towards a Queensland club doctor who reportedly prescribed benzos to a jilted husband who came to the club complaining that his wife had been rooting a married player in public toilets.
Wayde, however, takes these new responsibilities quite seriously.
It’s for this reason today that he’s refused to hand over a script for 50 slow release valiums to his club treasurer’s wife at a post-season barbecue this afternoon, who claims she has a fear of flying, despite the fact that no one is flying anywhere right now.
“Can’t do it, sorry love” said Wayde, recklessly putting his job on the line.
“I’m meant to be looking after snapped ACLs not giving you prescription drugs simply because you like the way it feels to pop a couple vallys with some white wine”
The club official’s wife reportedly scowled at Wayde, before calling him a soft cock and storming inside to pour a drink.
“Well, what good are you then?” she barked.
“Go get a job in emergency if you want to treat compound fractures”