NRL CEO Todd Greenberg says all this drama around the Bulldogs players getting drunk in a pub doesn’t really concern him, unless they were driving, because that would have probably been highly illegal.

After three consecutive weeks of no drug or violence-related misdemeanours in the National Rugby League, Greenberg says it’s almost like the players weren’t aware that this is the spiciest time of the year for scandals usually.

“It’s kind of like, Mad Mondays are usually fucked, but all I’ve seen is a bunch of drunk idiots being drunk idiots in a place that was expecting them to behave like drunk idiots

“Maybe they’ve started taking their job a bit seriously now they’ve seen how all those grubs in the arts behave. I congratulate the young men of the NRL. They are evidently of much better moral fibre than anyone working in theatre”

“I’m surprised we haven’t had a few more house visits to be honest. Haven’t even had any whispers of liney lines.”

“You never know, though. We could have something coming out in the next few days… Cronulla won’t be having Mad Monday for a while”

“I know it’s only been a few clubs so far. Touch wood”

“Anyway. As long as no one drove home I don’t care. Good luck with the hangovers you idiots”

“I’ve never had a beer in my life, so like all the journalists at the Telegraph, I’m not familiar with any of this”


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