WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Our neighbors across the ditch have today responded to some very undiplomatic threats.
The New Zealand Rugby Union has revealed that they will refuse to take any rebel Australian rugby competition lying down, promising to strike back if it were to arise.
This comes after Rugby Australia last week dropped a bombshell admission that they were thinking about letting the Kiwis play amongst themselves, seeing as they are just so good.
RA has promised to honour its commitments for 2023, but has floated the idea of peeling off and starting its own comp where the Australian win rate might tick over 50%.
That claim has angered our friends from the land of the long whine, who despite continually whinging about how shit and uncompetitive the comp is, are furious that they might be left to their own devices.
Richie McCaw, one of the spokespeople for the nation confirmed that he and his countrymen would flood any attempt to splinter off and get their hands on the ball by any means necessary.
“That’s the All Blacks and Crusaders mentality. We’ll be finding a way to come up with the ball and the referees will be convinced that we did it legally because of the subconscious big team bias that exists,” explained McCaw.
“So don’t you Aussies think that you can just peel off and do your own thing, because you need us to teach you how to play rugby,” he laughed.
While a few more Australian teams paired with the Fijian Drua and a couple of Japanese teams has been floated as an alternative, Richie said Australian rugby would die without relentless floggings at the hands of the Kiwi teams every week.
“The game in Australia needs you to be losing every single week, month and year,” he said.
“Otherwise you’ll become irrelevant,” said the former captain of a nation who likes to play B string tier-two sides whenever they can.
“You need us.”
More to come.