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Two weeks on from one of the most contentious NRL Grand Final’s in recent history, the nation is still left scratching its head about one major thing.

Not how much the umpire was paid to make that call that lost the Canberra Raiders the match, but rather who the fuck was the opening ‘celebrity’ entertainment?

According to our social media analysts, posts around trying to figure out who the opening act were, are still trending.

“Yes, it seems people just have absolutely no idea who it was” says the analyst.

For some reason, Australian Grand Final performances have never really hit the mark in the way other countries do it, apart from Gang Of Youths last year. No one knows why this is, but experts say the organisers have now just developed a complex and the nation will likely be destined for a future of shit performances.

“We are doomed” says an expert.

“The organisers have become stuck in a downward spiral where they’re incapable of putting on a good show”

“Even if Beyonce begged them to let her open an Australian grand final, they would likely say no”

“They wouldn’t know entertainment if it hit them in the face”

After some thorough research, The Advocate can reveal the 2019 NRL Grand Final was US pop band OneRepublic, it’s believed they have some commercial success in America, however, in Australia they’re remembered as that band that might have played on that 2007 Timberland song, Apologize.

More to come.

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