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The Manly Warringah Sea Eagles have today ditched their new strategy of pretending to be another club, after struggling to even pretend to have a winning culture against the Cronulla Sharks last night.

It is believed that Many coach Des Hasler decided to dress the boys in identical uniforms to the Melbourne Storm, hoping that the dark purple colours would be enough to trick Cronulla into repeating the same mistakes they made last week at AAMI park.

However, it became evidently clear from the kick off that Manly were not really up against Cronulla last night, just the destructive force of their 25-year-old Dally M contender Siosifa Talakai.

Talakai scored in the very first minute of the game, before going on to score two more and set up three others before half-time.

After what many experts are calling the most impressive half of rugby league from an individual footballer in recent memory, Talakai kept the momentum up through Manly’s attempts to claw a come back.

It is not yet known how the Northern Beaches side ever thought that maroon and white could ever be interpreted as purple, but the lack off success found in the bold dress-up strategy has seen the club immediately disregard plans to face the Rabbitohs in a bright Panthers Pink next weekend.

“We thought we could pretend to be Penrith and do a little bit of a Grand Final rematch” says Des.

“Never mind. Back to the drawing board”

“Maybe we’ll tighten the right edge and pray for a knee transplant”

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