Rugby League star Latrell Mitchell has today revealed he’s stoked to find out who he’s been negotiating with today, tomorrow.

The 22-year-old back to back NRL premiership winner, State of Origin winner, Kangaroo and Dally M Centre of The Year, said he’s really looking forward to learning about who he has been talking to.

This follows daily updates from Australia’s latently racist sports media publications about who the young man has been negotiating deals with, including the West Tigers, North Queensland Cowboys, South Sydney Rabbitohs, Gold Coast Titans, Parramatta Eels, Wallabies and the Toronto Wolfpack apparently.

Those ‘revelations’ come despite the fact Latrell has spent the off-season helping out friends and family back around his home of Taree with the bushfires and farm work, instead of pissing it up on some lavish overseas trip with the boys.

“Fuck, Man United apparently,” said Latrell out the front of a still under threat property on the Mid North Coast after hearing the new rumours about a cross-code switch.

“That’s sick, I mean I haven’t played soccer since Under 9s, but I reckon that could be fun,” said the centre who still has a year left to run on his contract.

Given the fact he’s stayed out of trouble, helped out on the farms back home instead of punching people in a Balinese nightclub or getting cooked somewhere else, won back to back premierships, handled being brutally dropped from State of Origin impeccably well Latrell said he’s not quite sure why raising the conversation about what he can earn as a professional athlete like every other Rugby League player does has caused such a commotion.

“I know it’s been a slow offseason, but geez,” said the footy player who woke up well before dawn to help a mate with a dairy farm.

“I guess people don’t want these giant multi-million dollar business who leaves players to rot if they don’t serve a financial purpose for their organisation to be ripped off,” explained the man employed by a club seemingly copping no flak for threatening to force him to play reserve grade to get him off their books.

“Ah well, hopefully there’s something in this Man United deal.”


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