WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

Employees at the frequently frantic NRL Integrity Unit are this afternoon pacing the halls of their offices nervously.

The anxious mood down at the unit has been caused by complete radio silence today, on what should be the Mad Monday for the eight NRL teams who aren’t playing finals football.

“Everyone’s on knife-edge down here,” explained one member of the unit named Simon Tuff.

“Something should have happened by now, and there’s been nothing, not a peep.”

“No one’s given away clues to where they are and what they are doing for Mad Monday on Instagram, nothings come up on the police scanner, no one from any of the clubs have called and no one from the Tele has got any photos.”

“It’s quiet, too quiet.”

The anonymous employee then told us that while most of the clubs have tried to ban Mad Monday, the Integrity Unit had seen a few spins around the sun.

“Yeah, like they are all going to go for a quiet round of golf and then go home on Mad Monday,” said Tuff.

“You’ve got a better chance of walking into a clean share house bathroom than you do of stopping the boys ripping in at the end of the season.”

“It just may be that, by some miracle, they’ve managed to not film any of the shit they’ve got up to.”

“Lord knows, but you can be fairly certain it won’t stay this quiet for long.”

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