In some breaking news out of the Republic of Sydney this morning, it has been confirmed that the Israel Folau sage looks set to finally be resolved.

The multimillionaire sports star who still drives a Lamborghini after being sacked for posting poorly made anti-gay memes that breached his contract, arrived to attend the first day of his Fair Work Commission hearing today, before being informed of some incredible news.

Rather than have to fight for his right to do things that his contract stipulated against and see through a long-running law suit with Rugby Australia, Folau was informed that everything was sorted.

This comes as Royal Brunei Airlines volunteered to replace Qantas as the Wallabies major sponsor going forward.

“In some exciting news, we can confirm that Israel and Rugby Australia have come to an amicable resolution,” said a spokesperson for the code.

“The Sultan of Brunei, who pushed through laws earlier this year making homosexuality punishable by death before putting them on hold for a bit after significant backlash, has decided to step up and back Rugby Australia.”

“So, now that we have secured the funding to keep our slowly dying game afloat for another few years, we’ve told Israel to come on down to training.”

“They boys are putting up spiralling torpies for him as we speak!”

It’s believed that the Wallabies are now confident they may be able to knock over Uruguay and potentially Fiji at the World Cup later this year.

“It’s very exciting for the game, and we are glad that we can move past this whole saga,” the spokesperson said.

“Apologies to the LGBTQI community for backing down on this issue, but it’s just dragged on for too long.”

“We’ll make sure they boys wear Rainbow socks or something later on this year.”


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