It’s interesting times down in the Sydney suburb of Belmore, with the region’s local football team raising a few eyebrows.

In the wake of last weekend’s late collapse against Brisbane, the club’s football boss Phil ‘Gus’ Gould has reportedly taken over a Bulldogs training session, telling the coach Trenet Barrett to have a breather.

While Gus is acknowledged as the fountain of all knowledge in Rugby League, the move has caused rumours that the embattled coach could be on the way out.

However, while the strange trading of places has generated a few headlines, The Advocate can now reveal an even more interesting update.

A member of staff at the Dogs has revealed that Gus Gould actually opened the training session with an extended prayer to the Football Gods.

“It was a sermon really. He went on for a fair while,” explained the anonymous insider.

It’s believed that Gus is hopeful that the Football Gods can smile favorably upon his team

While little is known about the constitution, nature, size, and makeup of the Football Gods, they are a collective of omnipresent football deities who control things like every bounce of a rugby league ball.

As a result, a lot of the prayer was centred around the Bulldogs receiving a favourable bounce of the ball.

“Football Gods forgive our young Dogs for inviting disappointment into their lives, they are young and lack the wiseness of your lordships,” he apparently began.

“But I have torn shreds off them verbally and they will find the strength to catch the ball on the full and not flirt with the sideline.”

“Please, gift us your mercy and allow us to unleash the fastest man on the planet, may it please your lordships,” he continued.

The prayer lasted roughly 10-15 minutes and included a lengthy plea for the spicy cough to leave the Dogs of War alone.

Gould then apparently asked players to sacrifice items to the Football Gods, with Josh Addo-Carr sacrificing a Let’s Trot hoodie, Paul Vaughn rushing home to get his BBQ for sacrifice and Matt Burton sacrificing his chances of taking the vacant Origin centre position.

More to come.


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