In a frightening prospect for our country, national hopes for sporting success are now pinned on the national Rugby Union team.

Following months of expectation, excitement and positivity, the country’s women’s soccer team and now men’s cricket team have had their hopes for glory dashed.

This comes after the old foe knocked us out of the World Cup in the Semi-Final overnight after a commanding display with the ball.

The 8 wicket victory for the English leaves Australia now looking to the last remaining notable World Cup this year for glory.

“Fuck,” said a spokesperson for the nation out the front of the Lord Kidman Hotel in the Old City District this morning.

“This is not good. Pinning anything other than disappointment on the Wallabies is a bad, bad idea.”

“And now we are pinning our hopes for national glory on them.”

“Jesus this is bad. Let’s hope New Zealand’s first three strings of teams all go down injured and the Fijian’s have a bad day when we come up against them in the group.”

The spokesperson explained how after an Origin defeat on Wednesday night and the impending bottom of the ladder finish for his baby Broncos he’s feeling desperate.

“Let’s go you Wallabies I guess”

“At least we’ve got Ash Barty.”


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