Local lower-grade footy club legend, Mucka, has today had to come to terms with the fact he can’t tackle for shit if it’s with his left side.

After years of hiding this ailment with with quick side steps and readjustments of position, Mucka was put in the spotlight at a recent Kangaroo Court sitting, where he was outed as fucken turnstile.

Outside of the sporting world, A turnstile is a mechanical barrier at the entrance to a place such as a museum or a football ground. Turnstiles have metal arms that you pushround as you go through them and enter the building or area – however when it comes to contact sports, the term is used to describe someone that is easily passed by while attempting to tackle.

“Aww jeez it’s not that bad” he says.

“No one noticed before they banned shoulder charges. This is bullshit”

4th-grade captain-coach, Tepai, says unfortunately that this is just something that Mucka is going to have to come to terms with – and he can start by admitting how badly he fucked up against that prop from Norths a couple months ago.

“Props aren’t meant to score 20-metre tries” said Tepai.

“Especially not props that size, in fourth grade”

However, Mucka isn’t having none of it.

“Go and fuck yourselves” he says.

“Should we do a #runitstraightchallenge? That’ll show you grubs what a fucking turnstile looks like”





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