The Brisbane Heat is once again showing the cricketing world just how beautiful this game can be, as the side continues offering up once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to lesser known players across the state.

This comes as the Big Bash team lose a vast majority of their playing group to a Omicron outbreak, with 12 players and coach Wade Seccombe testing positive and currently in seven days of isolation – a disaster for the club that has come to be known as ‘The Heat Wave’.

Up to ten debutants were selected for the Heat in last Thursdays clash against the Melbourne Renegades in Geelong on Thursday, and again against Hobart of Saturday.

The rushed-together side is starting to look a lot like Keanu Reeves’ ‘Replacements’ – as an assortment of fishermen, plumbers and accountants padded up in two valiant losses last week.

However, with case numbers still rising in Brisbane, and more Heat players testing positive by the day, the team has had to dig deeper into the Queensland cricket talent pool in their efforts to field a 14 man squad before Wednesday’s match against the Strikers.

Enter 39-year-old cattleman Myles Wallace, a former schoolboy cricketing great from the turn of the millennium.

Wallace received his call up via the two-way radio while pushing a mob of beasts between Doomadgee and Burketown on Sunday.

“By jove I thought old mate was playing up in the chopper” said the agricultural professional, speaking in an almost indecipherable thick North-West Queensland accent.

“They put the wonder in me there. Last thing you expect to hear on the two-way of a Sunday afternoon is the T20 selectors telling you to make your way down South aye”

“But she’s the real deal, Joog.”

While Wallace admits he hasn’t rolled the arm over since Christmas 2014, he insists he hasn’t lose his competitive spark – a claim that has been backed up by the Cloncurry police who recently incarcerated him for over 24 hours after a game of darts in the front bar of the Leichhardt Hotel descended into a 45-minute rum-fuelled fistfight.

“Boss reckons they’ll give me a week or two. As long as I don’t bring that fucken cough back here with me”

“These blokes don’t eat many veggies. That virus would run through the camp like a fucking Burgess.”


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