CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In what can only be described as a Christmas miracle, it seems there may be another real country music fan in the building this boxing day.
Arriving as the newly crowned boyfriend of one of the younger cousins, the big unit looks like he clearly enjoys the finer things in life.
Namely, Ned Kelly tattoos, oversized photocromic fishing sunnies, Jack Daniels in a can, and talking shit about the local council.
The cousin that brought him, who surprised the rest of family by suddenly being old enough to bring a boyfriend to Christmas, has made sure to introduce him to all of the male rellos that might be picking up what he’s putting down.
“Guysss. This is my new boyfriend Knoxlee” says the younger cousin Jade.
The uncles and older cousins look Knoxlee up and down, before asking him what he does for a crust.
“I fabricate sheet metal” says Knoxlee, proudly delivering a more than acceptable answer.
“Where ya from? asks Uncle Tip.
“Ipswich originally. Been living in Armidale for the last couple years. Up here now” he responds.
The new inclusion to the family Christmas appears to be seeing these gruelling questions like beach balls, as he wrangles a panel of pointlessly intimidating relatives.
“What do you drive?” asks one of the more feeble cousins, clearly setting himself up to be humiliated.
“What do you reckon?” responds Knoxlee.
The smart arse cousin knows he’s bitten off more than he can chew, as Knoxlee nods to the front gate.
“You reckon Jade’s running a dual-cab cruiser down to the hospital each morning?”
The panel erupts into laughter at this excessive return fire, as Knoxlee cements himself into a picnic chair in front of his esky.
He passes Jade a passionfruit UDL.
“Who’s on the speakers?” he asks his new family.
“How bout some Luke Combs?”
The uncles pull up a couple chairs next to him.
“You’ll keep” says Uncle Tip.
Knoxlee nods at the old man, as he lets the air into a can of pre-mixed Tennessee Whiskey and cola.