CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
A young couple from Betoota Lakes has realised that their brand-new Metricon home feels incomplete without something else to round out their cheugy suburban fantasy.
Dan and Teagan Jones secured their house-and-land package in a fast-growing estate vaguely named after some Italian Lake and conveniently located just a stone’s throw away from the CBD (50km).
“We’ve got the butler’s pantry, the soft-close kitchen drawers, the plantation blinds, and a cinema room we’ll never use,” said Teagan, standing in her living room decorated entirely in boucle and rattan items from Kmart.
“But something is missing” she trailed off. “I think we need to get a new car!!”
“Yes, our driveway just needs a top-of-the-line SUV, preferably one with a $0 deposit and a seven-year loan term,” Dan said
Dan, who works from home most days, says he’s eyeing an SUV with more off-road capability than he’ll ever need. “We might drive on a gravel road one day,” he explained.
Despite wanting to go on holiday soon, the couple is already speaking to a car dealership finance manager who has assured them that “if they can afford a mortgage, they can afford this.”
Sources close to the couple confirm they have decided on an SUV with a sunroof and a custom sage green finish to match the KitchenAid they bought using Afterpay.
