As the summer heatwaves begin to ramp up, one of Queensland’s most learned high school students has today given his form room teacher a heads up that she might be breaking the law unless she does what he says.

With the mercury topping a mild 30 degrees in some parts of the state today, class clowns right throughout Queensland the school system are insisting that ‘this is getting dangerous’.

In one of Betoota’s most rowdy state schools, the task of sharing this vital information has been taken on by the exact student that the faculty assumed would.

Despite the fact that Keeran Motley (14) just wrote 1000 words about the Middle East where he appears to have confuse Israel with India, the local delinquent seems to have a very thorough understanding of the Queensland Department of Education’s protocol for managing excessive heatwaves.

“Oi” he says to the 50-year-old career educator standing at the front of the class.

“You could get arrested if it gets any hotter than this”

“You know if it’s over 40 degrees we have to go home right?”

As the law stands in the Sunshine State, Keeran is talking out of his arse.

According to the Minister, unless the Principal or Regional Director determines that the school must temporarily close due to a disaster or emergency situation, Queensland state schools remain open and students are not sent home during periods of excessive heat or heatwave conditions. Staff manage risks associated with excessive heat at schools through a variety of strategies.

So unless on the rare chance that Keeran’s school has received rare funding that might have resulted in a renovation that could have cut the water access and turned off the bubblers, no one is going anywhere.

“Oi miss if you don’t send us home I’m gonna get my parents to sue you”

The teacher, familiar with this same routine from the same make of smart arse student every year, sighs.

“Keeran every single classroom in this school has been air conditioned since Anna Bligh”

The student sneers at his teacher’s counterargument and insists she’s a noncompliant child abuser.

This insolence triggers a nuclear slapdown that only a career educator like Miss Gambaro is capable of.

“If you wanna go home I’d suggest you fake a cough and tell everyone you’ve lost your sense of smell”

“…But even then I doubt anyone will believe you, because according to idiots like your old man, the virus hates this heat”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here