EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A woman has tonight found herself freezing in terror after her roomate dared to venture into the kitchen while she was cooking, it’s reported.

Though not exactly shy, Jess Houlihan has always needed her allocated ‘me time’, as well as safe spaces where she was comfortable being vulnerable. This weirdly fell into the realm of cooking dinner or typing on her computer, both of which she was unable to do with anyone near her.

It’s likely this may have been steered by criticism from her nonna in her early years, who made it virtually impossible to cook without offering unsolicited input or without taking over entirely. So now, cooking is a ritual for Jess, complete with the dulcet tones of jazz and a very large glass of pinot noir. And maybe a bit of out of pitch singing as well.

This small snapshot of pure bliss is quite sacred to Jess, and a way for her to unravel her thoughts about the day while performing a simple task. Hence, why she finds herself suddenly unable to move her spatula, when her roommate enters the kitchen to have a chat.

“Omg how bad is this weather, I got soooo drenched today.”

“Did you have a good day at work?”

Feeling an irrational bubble of anxiety, Jess keeps her answers short and sweet as she resumes a static position.

It’s alleged her roomie chatted to her for another twenty minutes, before Jess accidentally burnt her green beans from forgetting how to move.

More to come.


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