EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

As local woman Kirstie Janic finds herself happily scrolling through bedsheets on Etsy, she’s struck with the sudden thought that maybe, just maybe, she’s a fully fledged adult now.

Once being more than happy to sleep with whatever sheets her grandparents had to spare, Kirstie has finally reached a point in her life where she wanted to create her own space – though, earning more now that she was older did make decorating a lot easier.

However, now that she’s tasked to buying furniture and bedding for her room, Kirstie has learnt the hard way that everything costs a fucking fortune. And considering she didn’t know anyone with a ute, it wasn’t practical for her to thrift.

After blowing a couple of grand on a mattress, bedframe and chest of drawers plus the cost to airtask someone to assemble it, Kirstie had figured she was finally in the clear now that she only had lighter items to buy – such as cushions, a doona cover and plants.

But unfortunately a quick look online has proved that unless she wants to buy something plain and ugly, she’s set to fork out at least $50 per cushion. Which is a ridiculous notion.

“What the actual fuck”, says Kirstie to our reporter, “why are all the half decent ones so expensive?”

Pulling a face with disgust, Kirstie lets out a howl when she discovers a cushion she has her eye on is only selling the cover – and not the filling.

“I don’t understaaaaaand.”

“It’s so small?”

Looking in longing at a $90 geometric print, Kirstie says she can’t wait for the day she can afford West Elm and Pottery Barn.

“That’s when I know I’ve made it.”

More to come.


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