EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A permanently heartbroken Betoota Heights woman has today found herself cringing a little, after spotting numerous articles and tweets suggesting that Spotify Wrapped results are a mere few days away – an occasion that ordinarily would have filled her with a lot of excitement.

Having last year used it as a way to both flout her fantastic music taste and encourage blokes to slide on in, Danny Stanmore [27] has unfortunately found out the hard way that when it comes to heartbreak, she too, will succumb to the likes of Taylor Swift and Adele. 

And she should know, as she’s had not one, but three breakups this year.

What can she say, she’s an expert.

“There’s a lot of lo-fi hip hop for studying and fan noises too.”

“So basically my entire Spotify playlist is for a sad bitch who struggles to study and needs to be soothed like a baby to fall asleep.”

“Might skip the reshare button this year.”

More to come.


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