EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
STOP AND SMELL THE COFFEE BEANS: A local woman has been forced to admit that life might not be a relentless, soul-crushing nightmare after experiencing a brief moment of unbridled contentment at a French Quarter café this morning, it’s reported.
Having developed the bad habit of doom scrolling every waking moment of her life outside of work, which is only briefly interrupted by the occasional JD Vance meme, Betoota Ponds woman Chelsea Anderson, 28, has found herself feeling quite despondent- which isn’t that surprising given that anyone with basic empathy would struggle to feel hopeful when given 24/7 access to world news.
However, after nestling into the corner of a cute bistro cafe with an almond croissant and a cappuccino, a thoughtful Chelsea has recognised that her own life really isn’t that bad, after all.
“There’s something grounding about having a coffee and pastry, especially on an overcast day”, explains Chelsea to our reporter, who was ordering her third skinny cap for the day, “It reminds me that I’m actually pretty lucky, and that there’s a lot of joy to be had with simple pleasures.”
Chelsea says this reprieve from existential dread likely won’t last long, but she’ll enjoy the moment while she can.
More to come.
