LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In news that isn’t really news but this is 2023 who really gives a shit anymore, it has been revealed that local grandpa Phillip Kent (78) actually knows about Whitney Houston.

A veteran of two wars and over 30 years at the ATO, Kent is known as a soft spoken gentleman possibly due to the complex PTSD he developed while working in a government office. 

With his old school opinions and a lack of appreciation for any music that isn’t Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs by Marty Robbins his family was surprised to learn that their grey and purple old pop knows a thing or two about popular culture.

During a family BBQ, Kent’s granddaughter Paula put on a song she ‘just discovered’, “I Want to Dance With Somebody” by the late great Whitney Houston.

Noticing their grandpa was tapping his foot along a little to the pumping declaration of dance and love, Paula asked her pop if he knew who sung this song and was left shocked when he answered correctly within two seconds.

“Of course I know who Whitney Houston is, I am a human being alive in this world you know,” stated Kent, doing very little to hide his offence.

“Why would you assume I don’t know who Whitney Houston is?”

“I took your grandmother to see The Bodyguard at the pictures. Twice in fact, it’s a great movie. Think I’ve got a tape of it inside somewhere, I’ll pop it on for you later if you like!” 

MORE TO COME.

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