EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Watching as one of her very sporty coworkers staggers in on a pair of crutches, local woman Vesper Tomlinson [29] feels oddly vindicated.

And yes, she knows that is an awful thing to say, but sporty people, especially early morning sporty people, have had too much power, for too long.

As someone who was both athletically challenged and a lazy piece of shit, any desire to take up a sport has now been quickly quashed, by seeing what happens when someone plays squash.

Or tennis, basketball, football and soccer. 

“Oh no James, what happened”, she asked, having a fair idea of how this random injury occurred, “did you fuck it up at softball?”

“Yeah I think I might have torn a ligament”, James had responded, sadly, “I need to get some scans done.”

“Won’t be able to play for weeks.”

“Damn, you and Pete have had a really bad run lately”, she’d said, referring to her other sporty coworker, who’d fucked his ACL three weeks ago, “that’s so rough.”

And then there was her other coworker Bev, who’d copped a shin splint playing netball.

And Mitch, who’d fractured his wrist falling off a skateboard. 

“Haha damn sports, am I right?”

“But seriously, let me know if you need anything, okay?”

More to come.


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