ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A popular local tradesman with a largely inconvenient auto-immune condition has made it clear to some new friends last night that he was born with Type-1 diabetes – and that he feels a mild superiority over those with the Type-2 variety.

Darcy Carmichael, of Longview Road in Betoota Heights, was observed last night in the Dolphins Club bistro telling a couple friends-of-friends that he has Type-1 and not the self-inflicted Type-2 variety.

Moments after he finished dinner, which was the penne carbonara special washed down with two schooners of full-strength Coca-Cola, he pulled his insulin pen from his back pocket and dialled it up to 26.

“Don’t mind me fellas,” he said, pinching some skin beside his belly button.

“Just got to fuel myself up for the evening. Yeah, it’s a bit of a bitch but what can you do?”

When asked by Oliver Radley, who was sat opposite Darcy in the bistro, if he was a Type-2, the mood in Betoota’s best value dining area suddenly changes.

“I’m not one of those bloody Type-2 people, I was born with a dodgy pancreas. If my pancreas was a whipper-snipper, it’d be for sale in The Advocate for $10 and it’d blow more blue smoke than Grandma’s Ford Escort. It’d be fucked mate,”

“I actually take pretty good care of myself – unlike them Type-2 folk. I’d like to make it clear, boys and girls, that I can’t help it and I can’t get cured, so fuck yas.”

Darcy nodded and paused for a moment then ran a finger through the sauce left on his plate.

“Anyway, who wants a game of air hockey?”

More to c0me.


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