The boys at Betoota Ponds Sports High have today returned to the classroom from big lunch coated in bloody noses and knee grazes, after 50 minutes of unbridled contact sport.

It would seem that after identifying the teacher on duty, the students took it upon themselves to ramp up their game of touch footy into full blown tackle footy.

While their deep hormonal desires to engage in meaningless violence is something that is tested at least once every big lunch, it is very rare that the boys will get away with an entire match without one of their educators intervening.

However, today, the teacher on duty was over 65 years old. Which means he’s either so weary of the job that he doesn’t care about their physical wellbeing – or he actually isn’t aware that it’s no longer appropriate for teenagers to take part in 50 minutes of high impact tackling without mouth guards.

Mr Joyce, a career educator who cut his teeth at this same school when Sir Joh was still the Premier of Queensland, says he doesn’t mind watching these lads run the ball up.

“Haha wooaahh!” shouts the senior gentlemen from the sidelines.

“Big hit Jackson! Nice stuff”

As the tackles descend into jersey punches, Mr Joyce appears less interested in the match and instead does another lap of the playground equipment until the boys want to get serious.

“Its not in the spirit of the game” he mutters.

“A few fists are alright here and there, but not at every tackle”

His decision to not intervene even at the point of students literally striking eachother with closed hands just goes to show how much slack this old codger is willing to give these rough and tumble young lads.

As the school bell sounds for the next periods, the game finishes abruptly with what could easily be a burst spleen.

“Hahaha that’s more like it gents!” cheers old Joycey.

“Right under the ribs!”


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