Prime Minister Scott Morrison has responded to the damning allegations from Royal Commission into the aged care sector in trademark style this morning.

Following revelations that the Federal Government’s actions were “insufficient” to ensure the aged care sector was prepared for the Covid-19, Scotty from Marketing has rolled out the big guns.

“As a result of our actions, and the long term effects of successive federal governments in de-regulating the sector highly prone to cost-cutting and exploitation of vulnerable people we are today offering every single Aged Care resident a scratchie,” he explained.

The report calls for a proper plan for the sector to be developed, for urgent cash to be injected, and for infection control experts to be deployed to all aged care homes as a result of the complete debacle created by the State Premier Daniel Andrews and the Federal Government.

The Government has revealed that it wanted to tack a free Donut King Cinamon Doughnut on, but given budget constraints had to settle for a scratchie.

“In a perfect world, it would be a scratchie and a doughnut, but you can’t have everything,” he said.

“We aren’t going to do anything about the constant de-regulation of the sector to allow companies to profit off the fact our elderly are vulnerable and often unable to speak up in the face of appaling treatment.”

“But, hey, you might win 10 grand an earn yourself a few favours in the facility.”

More to come.


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