Wasting no time getting to know the ins and outs of Aussie culture, the new exchange student at Betoota Ponds High has already been taught how to swear in Australian English.

Hailing from West Berlin, Alex Berger (16) was looking forward to a warmer climate with flora and fauna completely different to what he would see back in Germany.

However, Berger’s first case of culture shock did not come from seeing a kangaroo or tasting a decent coffee but from the sheer amount of local teenagers who wanted to make sure their new classmate could swear like an Aussie.

As soon as he stepped through the gates of Betoota Ponds High, Berger was swarmed by his new classmates who wanted him to understand why an Australian never goes anywhere to fuck spiders.

“No wucking furries?” stated a confused Berger, who did not gain any further understanding of what he had said after it made all his classmates laugh.

“Y-you are a s-sick cunt?”

After tutoring Berger on the finer points of swearing related chat, his classmates then forced him to answer a series of questions about Germany, including what they call English class there and if the months of the year are the same.

Witnesses report that Berger was unable to efficiently answer most of the questions as he was still shook by the amount of swearing feral Aussie teenagers work into conversation.

“In Deutschland, there are people who swear like that, but they are old and rare. It is considered very impolite to use the language they are saying. It is as if they are all sick inside of their soul.”


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