EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

As he feels the unmistakable feeling of soggy lettuce and mayo ooze trickle his fingers, local bloke Benny Burchard [32] lets out a small sigh.

The bottom part of his burger has somehow magically been demolished at an exceedingly faster rate than the top bun – and he was really trying to take some balanced bites this time too.

But yet again, he finds himself grasping onto a pathetic 50 cent sized piece of bread with his thumb, as half of the burgers toppings fall into the deepest crevices of the tin foil.

A conundrum that usually results in him giving up and eating the bottom piece of bread like a little duck boy, and gripping the meat patty instead.

“This happens every fucking time”, says a confused Benny, “even when I’m making sure to give the top part some extra love.”

Weirdly, when Benny tried eating a burger upside down, he found that he no longer had a problem.

“It’s fucking sorcery or something.”

More to come.


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