A local hospitality employee has today decided that it might be time to get serious.

The 24-year-old bartender named Sophie Murray revealed to The Advocate today she’s borrowed her old man’s cattle prodder for the afternoon, so she control these yahoos a bit more easily.

The youngest employee at the Royal Commerical Hotel on the edge of Betoota Heights is expected to once again draw the short straw and be handed the great responsibility of the yellow Covid Marshall Vest.

“This will be my 4th shift in a row wearing the stupid vest,” she sighed to us over an 11am brekky long black.

“Which will effectively take me into 30 consecutive working hours of telling pests to sit the fuck down.”

As a result of Covid restrictions around the country, pubs are required to have a designated marshall who makes sure patrons follow the new social distancing rules – which means people like Sophie have to spend their working day hassling men and women who refuse to follow the rules and sass her in the process.

“I love telling a bloke after 4 happy hour schooners he needs to sit down every 5 minutes and then watch him out of the corner of my eye say ‘Ohhhhhhh she’s not happppppppy’ to his fucking idiot mates.”

“So I’ve borrowed the old man’s prodder. A hotshot in the ribs will learn them,” she laughed.

“A few thousand volts in that layer around the belly will get em to sit down.”

“The boss said it’s all good so we’ll see how we go.”


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