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“Who was that cunt and why did you bring him to the pub last night?”

At 6:04 am this morning, the first message buzzed the group chat and Nick Friesen wanted some answer.

The Diamantina Air Freight pilots often meet on a Tuesday afternoon for a quiet drink at the Dickless Parrot in Betoota Heights, which was once a nice shithole to drink in before Justin Hemmes bought it and made it into a popular eatery complete with prams and seafood.

Once there, Nick and his fellow flyboys like to relax and tell wild stories from the frontier country as well as yarns passed between friends like gastro in a boarding house.

However, there was a small problem yesterday which took the shine off the evening, according to Nick.

“So John brings this poon he went to school with who was not good company in the slightest,” he said.

Nick spoke to The Advocate this morning as he filled his Rav4 Boomer Wagon up at the Daroo Street Caltex.

“Every time we’d start spinning a yarn, he’d start fact checking what we were saying. Does he understand the concept of getting a few cold schooners in you and telling your friends stories that aren’t entirely factually correct? It seems he does not,”

“So I told this timeless yarn I have about this bloke drinking 100 stubbies of heavy in a single sitting. He’s pulled me up saying that’s like 40 litres of beer and about 140 standard drinks. A stranger at the table, he had the gall to call me a liar!”

“We all looked at John and he’s suddenly realised that he as fucked up big time by bringing this fucking dork to the pub with him, so he says he has to go, thinking that this spoon would follow him,”

“But he didn’t. We got stuck with him. So we all ended up leaving. Mate, I can’t begin to tell you how annoyed I am.”

Our reporter reached out to John for comment but he’s yet to respond.

More to come.


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