EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Local woman Evie Lewisham quite likes being small.

Not only do people assume she’s fragile and rush to help her with physical tasks (and yes, she does lean into it) but she’s also pretty much guaranteed to be picked up and swung around every time a bloke hugs her.

In fact, seeing as she barely scrapes 5’2, Evie is used to being the smallest adult wherever she goes, and views it as a key part of her identity. 

But today, Evie finds herself grappling with some very strong feelings of jealousy.

She’s just met someone even more petite than she is. 

Her friend’s new girlfriend is five foot fucking one.

“It feels pretty awful”, says Evie, “she makes me feel like a giant.”

“I’ve never had this happen before.”

Adding that she’s well aware her indirect aggression was irrational and likely due to her internalised view of conventional female beauty standards, Evie says she will put her competitive feelings aside to forge a friendship with her usurper – which sounded incredibly mature and introspective, until Evie had to throw in that she at least has ‘a nicer bum.’

“I guess if you really unpack it, it’s a little bit weird that being tiny, doe eyed with zero body hair is considered so attractive.”

“But let’s not go there.”

More to come.


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