WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A local rideshare driver has banked the 5-star rating barely 50 metres into a trip today.
Alan Stevens, a retired accountant and local Betoota Grove resident who often gets bored enough to do a few trips around town for some ‘pocket money’ which he usually spends down at the Grove Hotel, did so when he offered his passengers a bit of gum.
“Chewy?” said the friendly patriarch smiling and offering up the little Extra morsels to his half-cut patrons on the way into town for some event.
“It’s as soft as a small-town council’s stance on dodgy developments.”
The group of mates who’d just had a couple of moderately cold beverages before heading off to an event you can actually attend after having a couple because our town doesn’t have anywhere near as many security guards who think they work for the special forces like Sydney or Brisbane does, gleefully accepted.
“Just what I needed,” said one of the passengers who always means to buy a pack of chewy but never seems to get around to doing it.
“Thanks mate, curiously soft this gum, just like your little pen pushing hands Timbo,” said the now audibly chirpy front seat passenger to one of his mates in the back.
“You got Bluetooth,” he then asked the Uber driver in preparation to play something obnoxious tune that would make Stevens question whether even the surging fare made the experience worth it.
After lying and telling his passengers he didn’t and flicking the radio to Nova or something, the conversation petered out between driver and drivees, and Stevens who’d done enough trips to realise you don’t have to have conversations with everyone you pick up enjoyed the rest of trip in relative peace.
Stevens confirmed to our reporters a short time after the trip that he’s found a little piece of Extra Soft Chewy goes a long way in terms of his rating and rapport with often rowdy patrons.
“I used to do the bottles of water in all the doors thing, but I’ve given up on that and just fling them a bit of gum when they get in the car,” he said.
“They often tell me they think it will help them get in, mask the fact they’ve had a couple and erase the garlic from the kebab they’ve often had the night before.”