ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Though his best years are behind him, a once popular solicitor at South Betoota’s Minter Piper & Hellmore offices has taken up an afternoon hobby of walking around the open plan workspaces with some sort of football in his hands.

Sometimes Mark Annesley-Wright bounces it a few times on the polished concrete floors to herald his arrival into the room.

His new role as office sportsguy has put him at odds with the rest of his team, most of which agree that the 28-year-old’s presence in the workplaces has a negative effect on productivity.

“I had no idea what an ACL was until I started working here,” said one colleague.

“It sounded to me like some sort of car but as it turns out, it’s a little tendon inside you knee that prevents fuckwits like Mark from playing sports ball,”

“Honest to God, once he even bounced the ball right up to my desk, fucking pulled out of my headphones out and asked me if I wanted to go for a drink with him after work that Friday. Mate, with that type of moral panache, I’m surprised he still has all his original teeth!”

Our reporter, clearly taken back by Mark’s coworker’s sentiments, said thanks and moved onto another worker on the same pod as Mark.

However, she too had roughly the same feelings about the guy who’s rarely seen either doing work with or without a ball.

“He must be some cunt’s son,” she said.

“Because nobody wants him here but he’s probably going to be the first to make partner. When does life start becoming enjoyable? I’m all fucking ears.”

More to come.

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