Office Manager Brendan Wallis probably wouldn’t have been in charge of the annual Christmas bash, if his colleagues had any idea of his hobbies, it’s reported.

Having just been hired roughly six months ago, the 35-year-old father-like figure was quickly welcomed by the rest of the staff, most likely due to his facilitating of drinking sessions.

But under this facade, Brendan is hiding a terrible secret – he’s quite the punter.

Figuring his fellow employees wouldn’t take too kindly to having the Christmas do at the local RSL, Brendan went one step higher and picked ‘The Lord Betoota Hotel, which at least had a beer garden. By which they mean, a small patch of astroturf with some deck chairs.

The revamped hotel was recently given a fresh lick of paint and a few rows of fairy lights to cater to the growing yuppie demographic, who have reacted favourably to the new look.

However, it’s managed to stay true to its roots with a dark alcove specifically designed for degenerates, filled with pokies, a TAB machine and a schooner half filled with beer and cigarette butts that appears to remerge no matter how times the staff get rid of it.

However, these poor attempts at gentrification will likely not be appreciated by the McKinsey law firm, who were used to drinking at bars where requests for espresso martinis weren’t met with confused looks from the bar staff.

Luckily, if confronted about the choice, Brendan can quickly blame it on ‘not knowing much about the area’ and the frequent bouts of absence on a ‘terrible bladder infection.’

More to come.


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