FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
As the work Christmas party gets tantalisingly closer, millions of Australian workers are eagerly anticipating the chance to find out how many free beers and house wines they can consume before being escorted into the carpark of the local bistro.
However, the work Christmas party can also be an excellent chance for some inter-company networking says Recruitment Advisor Katie O’Brien.
“Whilst it’s always fun to hear the man who turned down your raise talk about how much money the business made last year, there are many unique opportunities that may present themselves at some stage during the night. For instance, you could have a casual chat with the new Purchasing Officer and discuss the possibility of a friendly merger while her boyfriend is at the bar. Being concerned that this might not be a great idea is a sure sign that more dancing juice is required.”
“Another great idea, if you are an emotional drunk, is to use the informal atmosphere to tell your Manager how a raise would help pay for a house deposit. If this doesn’t result in an immediate promise of a raise, let him subtly know that he could easily lose you by explaining in depth how your major competitor’s product is marginally superior in every way.”
“Since the entire company will be there, the Christmas Party is an excellent opportunity to showcase your confidence with some sort of bold performance such as doing a shoey, or trying to see how many prawn cocktails you can fit in your mouth at the same time whilst standing on a table.”
“If you’ve never roasted anyone before, now is the perfect opportunity to give it a go. Don’t forget to refer to your superiors as “dickheads”, your colleagues as “brown-nosers”, and people who get paid less than you as “drones”.For extra laughs, chuck in a few racist or sexist jokes just to show you are ‘one of the boys.’”
“While you’re at it, it’s always a fun idea to make jokes about the bistro staff who are preparing your food in the kitchen.”
However, O’Brien adds you should always be careful not to become too inebriated.
“Since most of the Christmas party shenanigans happen late in the evening, the key is to slam as many schooeys as possible early in the night because this is generally a safe time when not much trouble occurs. An easy way to find out if it’s time to stop drinking is to balance a full schooner on your head. If it doesn’t fall off immediately you are ok to keep drinking. If it does fall off, you should keep drinking anyway because the bar tab is still open.”