A local legend has today wowed his entire cohort of first year university students with incredible tales of human endurance and epic encounters.

19 year old Tristan Hollingsworth did so yesterday afternoon when he regaled some unwitting classmates with the tales of his post HSC life.

“Bro, my liver is actually killing haha,” laughed the first year commerce student at South Betoota Polytechnic over a couple of introductory beers.

“Seriously, like it actually aches in the mornings,” lied the man who can’t anatomically locate where the vital organ is situated within his body.

Tristians comments come just hours into the first day of the semester one at our esteemed tertiary institution, with commencing students trying to wrap their heads around whether they are going to re-invent their personalities, lean into their established high school persona or just cringe at the whole thing.

With a few classes revolving around tales of who has how many pets and what TV shows they are loving at the moment, the first day on campus wrapped up with a session at the Flathouse (the local uni bar).

Following a few fumbled attempts at starting conversation, Tristan then decided to treat his new acquaintances to a blow by blow account of his schoolies and Euro trip.

The Whooton graduate informed the group that he actually drank every single day of his Eurotrip, which was 42 days.

“Like every single day haha”

“Which is why I’m drinking a pint now, cause I’m just so used to drink proper sized beers.”

“Schooners barely hit the sides.”

“My body needs a break, but like, I just love drinking so much haha”

More to come.


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