Moustache owner Duncan Hopper (33) does not like this time of year.

Aside from the fact that Christmas decorations are already appearing in his neighbourhood, Hopper finds the month of November particularly frustrating due to one question he keeps being asked.

“Oh, we’re you doing Movember?” a checkout attendant asked Hopper as he purchased his dairy-free chocolate and tobacco.

“A few of the shelf stackers are doing it too.”

Movember is a charitable initiative which seeks to raise money & funds for men’s health causes in a way that people can get behind.

Not usually one to get angry in non-artisanal shops, Hopper claims he informed the checkout worker that his moustache is a permanent style fixture as calmly as possible.

“No! I’m not some sort of filthy Movember casual going around with my hand out laughing with my mates about how funny facial hair is when there isn’t even anything funny about it!” 

“Just on card thanks.” 

Sources close to Hopper state after his most recent interaction with a person mistaking him for a Movember casual, he stared into his bathroom mirror for nine hours holding a disposable razor over his moustache in a trembling hand. 


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