FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

2020 has been rough for Absinthe Carlsson, 19.

The self-confessed Festival Fiend has been staring at the brightly-coloured festival promo posters plastered around the bedroom of his Western Sydney sharehouse, knowing full well that they have all since been cancelled due to COVID-19. 

“It’s been tough” he said, looking wistfully at a legitimate-looking blister pack of “Panadol”.

“I haven’t been to a festival in months. Last week I had to take a drug test for work and I didn’t get called into the Site Manager’s Office afterwards. It really hammers home how long it’s been.”

To cope with the drought, Carlsson has taken extraordinary steps to try to create the festival feeling at home. 

“First I left the hose on overnight to make the backyard a sloppy mess. Then I just set up a collapsible chair in the backyard and put the big sound system from the loungeroom right in front of it and I was good to go.”

“I’d throw a fistful of cash over the fence for entry, then I’d throw another fistful of cash for a “Booking Fee” and then I’d crank the tunes. Every 40 minutes I would walk to the other side of the yard and stand in an imaginary line for half an hour before throwing $12 over the fence and taking a can of something called “mid-strength beer” out of the esky.” 

And if this sounds unusual to you, spare a thought for Carlsson’s elderly neighbours who are forced to listen to 180W of strange ‘young people’s music’ at maximum volume all weekend. 

“It’s quite the hullabaloo” admitted Claire, 73.

“I thought it was a soundcheck but after 3 hours I realised it was probably the main event.”

But rather than calling the police on her young neighbour, Claire is strangely supportive of the rebellious racket.

“It’s fine and dandy by me. He said we could keep all the money that he keeps throwing over the fence as long as I get Harvey to come over and strip search him every couple of hours”.   

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