LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Local sales representative Alia Barby (29) encountered a rather difficult obstacle today as her online research led her to a news site that contained a ‘paywall.’

Designed to make online publishing available without advertising worming its way into every sentence like a wriggling, delicious Allen’s Lolly Snake, ‘paywalls’ are the term used for messages on news websites that block content until the reader signs up for an account.

Many of the nations publications now offer a free print subscription when buying a digital subscription much in the same fashion that every variety pack of cereal contains a box of All Bran.

Paywalls became popular around the time Millennials like Barby came of newspaper buying age but decided not to because seriously why would you. 

“Why would I give Rupert Murdoch money to read a bunch of lies?” stated Barby, who has never given a cent to a news source she actually likes.

“Why can’t I just read the damn article? You guys don’t have a spare login do ya?” 

Until such time as Barby figures out how to get past a paywall, the sales rep states she will continue to get her news via typo-heavy comedy on Instagram, written by people who only got an ATAR of 77.

MORE TO COME.

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