LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
As sponsored articles for health insurance will remind you, 2020 has been a tough year.
But with Victoria working towards being COVID free and the Flemington public housing towards reporting 0 new cases Australia can get back on track to being excited for the Melbourne Cup again.
Known as The Race That Stops The Nation the Melbourne Cup is one of the few sporting events of 2020 to not be called off due to the highly contagious virus that has killed a million people.
But punters need not worry about White Collar Christmas as the 2020 Melbourne Cup will go ahead with strict social distancing restrictions.
Perhaps the most controversial restriction recommends Cup attendees sniff rack in separate cubicles.
“That’s gonna be hard,” stated solictior and Cup fanatic Bradley Brasier (27).
“They’ve also told us to stay away from police but I think they tell us that every year and we never do haha.”
Cup attendees have also been asked to please not leave a disgusting amount of litter behind for the 159th year in a row.
“Yeah good luck with that. This is a classy affair, we didn’t come here to clean. We came here to find out whose guy sorts them out the best and yell shit at tiny men on horses.”